Purple Walls

Because I tend to be a conventional play by the rules person in most aspects of life, I often feel like I have to be that way all the time. Even when I don't want to be. There are small things I want to do. Ways I want to rebel against who I am, or who people think I am. I hate having to make decisions based on what is practical all the time. I want to paint my house bright colors even if it makes the resale value less and I may hate the colors 2 years, or 2 months, down the road. I want to go out and buy a puppy because my baby loves them, and not think through all the financial and daily responsibilities. I want to name my daughter Ava, even if everyone else is doing it. I want to drink alcohol at lunchtime if I feel like it and cookies at breakfast (which by the way I am doing right now). I am dyyying to get a tattoo and another piercing, even though I paid $40 to get my nose pierced and took it out the next day. I want to paint even though I suck at it and have no idea what I'm doing. I want to be open about the fact that I have only voted democrat among my conservative Christian family and friends.
I hate that people are always assuming or telling me that I have to be a certain way. Maybe I'm not that way. Maybe I am. But either way I just want to be free to be who I am and do what I want to do even if that's paint the walls purple when I hate purple.